Jib Jab does it again

I laughed so hard I peed on the couch!

Time for Some Campaignin' | Funny Jokes at JibJab

J-E-T-S! Jets, Jets, Jets

A nice day at home with Dad who has started watching sports on Sunday now that he's going to mass a bit closer to home. It makes for a nice day with me. We put our Jets Jerseys on and watch the game (although we switched back and forth between the Jets and Mets baseball this week). The Jets were awesome as Brett Favre threw for 6 TDs! Yay! The Mets...well...I poop on them--like my buddy Triumph the Insult Comic dog.



Dad looks gynormus in the picture on the right--just to let it be known that dad has dropped 15 pounds in 3 weeks on nutrasystem. Only 35 more to go! Keep it up dad and thanks for the Jets Jersey!

Obama-McCain Debate

Meanwhile...I watched the Obama-Mccain debate and thought that Obama really did well on how he'd manage the federal economy (use a scalpel; not a hatchet) and McCain seemed to know more about foreign policy, showing people how well connected he is with people in that area (maybe he even over-did this--but it's a good point and Obama's weak spot).

I called it for Obama who seemed a lot more confident and poised but gave McCain honorable mention. Mom took my picture here watching the whole thing.

I have no idea why i did this...or tried to anyway...

So mom took me for a walk this morning and we met a very nice man in front of the deli. I started to walk towards him like I wanted to be friends and then when he got close to me....

I lifted my leg and nearly peed on him!

Mom pulled me away and i stopped mid-stream. Embarrassed on several levels, Mom apologized to the man who just thought I was funny.

I guess he's not into that kind of thing. I'm not either--I don't know what has come over me. I talked to Dad about this and he's just as clueless as I am about it.

Border Collies

Here's a great article by The Anchoress on our friends the Border Collie.

You may kiss....

THE DOG!

This guy needs some help...or a girlfriend

Dad would never let me do this...

The Dynamic Duo: Mom and Me

Mom came home last night and told me that she saw Batman on the LIRR...

She was singing, "Da, da, da, da, da, da, da--Bat-man!!"

I thought of Arnold from Different Strokes and I gave her a look that said, "Whatja talkin' about Mom?"

Mom explained that she met Lonnie who has a little chihuahua named Batman. She said that Batman was black with grey speckles. Lonnie let Mom hold Batman and he was smaller than me. Mom told Dad how cute Batman was and I began to think, "Hey, what about me? I'm cute too!"

That was when Mom looked at me and hugged me and said, "No one is as cute as you, Haze. Haze is the cutest dog in the whole world."

Now everything's back to status quo.

And I licked Mom's face with joy.

FreshDog Survival Guide

On the first day of living with a new owner...live by 5 rules:

1) Use the outhouse! Never, ever pee in the house. The owners have an aversion to urine and its smell...so be careful about drinking too much and then getting caught weak bladdered. If you must pee, pee in the kitchen or the bathroom where it's easier to clean up. If your mom and dad are nice they might provide you with a wee-wee pad and if so--go there--but don't make a habit of going there frequently--hold it until they let you out. This will not bring any second thoughts to them returning you to the pet store or adoption center.

2) Take a vow of silence for a week. No BARKING. This is a particularly tough rule to follow. But there is one way to get owners (and their neighbors) angry and that's incessant barking. Better to snuggle up to the owners or give a slight whimper to get their attention but all out barking is a no-no.

3) Love children: Be extra cute around kids. That makes you indespensible--especially if the kids cry at the very threat of getting rid of you. Loving the kids puts them under your spell. Soon you'll be running the house your way.

4) Embrace your sleeping space. Owners will tell you where to sleep--just deal. They'll eventually succumb and let you sleep at the foot of their bed.

5) Play when they want to not when you do: Let owners have their peace when they come home--they'll play with you eventually. Then go all out bonkers. Fetch, run, gnaw, chew a toy and lick faces! They'll never let you go. By the time you end your session you should look like the picture above.

While Dad's Away...

Well here I am sitting on Mom's lap typing my blog although she keeps trying to write on my blog herself. Since I'm in the last month of my terrible two's I keep giving her a look that says, "Don't get all up in my grill, Mom! It's MY blog!"

I wouldn't do that. I'm sure she would put me in a 2 minute time out without my favorite pink squeeky frog. She would tell me to "use my words" (polite words). It's tough having a preschool teacher for a mom--she knows all the tricks.

So anyway, as I previously reported there is a new movie coming out this month that is a must-see. Beverly Hills Chihuahua! I give it 4 paws up! These little chihuahuas get lost in Mexico (Gringos, don't insult me. Pronounce this correctly. Do I have to spell it out for you? It's Meh-hee-ko. And Chihuahua is Chee-Wow-Uh. Yo homies, get it right!). George Lopez plays the top chihuahua. I love his TV show and watch it with Mom all the time and we laugh our heads off.

I personally would love to romp around the streets of Mexico. I could get in touch with my roots. But until then, your favorite internet saavy dog provides you with this preview: Hay Chihuahua!!

Sniff...Dad's gone again

So I'm a bit of a sad dog today because dad went to West Virginia today to be the Keynote Speaker at a conference and will be there until Sunday. I'm proud of him but I miss him and I sometimes wait by the door just thinking that he'll be home any time and then get disappointed when he doesn't show up.

I think Mom and Dad try to confuse me. They put the telephone up to my ear and let me hear dad's voice--which is comforting-- but then I think he's here somewhere and I start to look around to find him. Augh! Confusion!

Anyway...it gives me the chance to look at some blogs. Dad's friend Betsy writes Beware the Bee...sometimes she stings! And she had a horrifying post today. I don't know what I would do if this happened to me! I might freak out more than she did!

What happened? You'll have to see for yourself...

Beware the Bee

Jonathan starts a trend

So now Briana, a friend from Dad's World Youth Day trip also writes in with photos of a CHIHUAHUA! Not only a Chihuahua but a chihuahua named Frida with her 6 new puppies. Don't blame it on me, folks, I've been fixed.



Regardless, they are cute and their mom couldn't be prouder. So thanks to Briana who is like the coolest person from what Dad tells me. They had loads of fun at World Youth Day--check Briana out walking back from the big event with the Pope where Briana slept outside and Dad completely wimped out and went back to the hotel.



So good job outta Jonathan for starting a trend. The next thing you know Jonathan will design a cool new set of shoes and we'll all be forced to wear them even us dogs!

We Get Letters...and sometimes pictures!

So Jonathan, a very cool 9 year old regular reader from the Rochester area sent in some cool pictures of his pals. Three cool-looking dogs pictured here (and is that Jonathan lying down on the deck as well?)! The Weiner dogs--as they call them--are Charlie and Scarlet and the Pug is Isabelle.

Let me just say that while I'm generally speaking a loner and don't always like hanging around other dogs (I get scared! Other dogs spook me for some reason!), I think I'd really be able to get along with these folks. First of all, Weiner Dogs are cool! They're almost as cool as Chihuahuas--but not not quite--so don't get cocky, Charlie and Scarlet.



Secondly, Pugs are snuggable, like me. So that makes Isabelle automatically cool.
She's a cutie too--just look at her on the right there. Maybe we can date? I guess I'd have to get over that whole fear of other dogs thing! I mean, how embarrassing would that be if I went all the way up to Rochester for a date with Isabelle (I know, I'm getting ahead of myself here! Isabelle hasn't even agreed to a date with little ole me yet!), and I ended up barking and lunging at the first sight of her. Somehow I think she'd turn her back on me and just go find a nice warm lap to curl up on. I'd be so embarrassed that I'd pee on Johnathan's mom's floor. And then Dad would have to pay for a rug shampoo! Ok forget it. No dates until I can get my tail in gear!!

Besides, Dad told me "No dates until you're five!" I keep telling him that that's 35 years in dog years, but he just replies that "Dog ages aren't an exact science."




Regardless, thanks to Jonathan and his mom Nora, who is a great writer and wrote the outstanding Freshman Survival Guide series for BustedHalo.com. I love it and you should check it out if you have children who are headed to college--it's a nice thing to send them off to dorm life with. Oh, I almost forgot, thanks to my new pals Scarlet, Charlie and of course, Isabelle--Hey cutie! Call me!

I'm going to write a FreshDog Survival Guide for Dogs that are going to live with owners for the first time starting tomorrow!

Colleen at Cuckoo's

So I got stopped again by a woman this time from Northern Ireland outside The Cuckoo's Nest bar. Colleen was there with her husband taking a smoke break outside (doesn't she know that those things will kill you!?)

Regardless, she thought that I was adorable and began to tell me about her dog, a collie if I remember right. Her story made me sad. She rescued her dog (just like mom and dad did for me!) and he had a lot of issues. People can't go near him or her or the dog will get very "protective." She even told us that her own dog attacked her and put her in the hospital for a week! And yet, she didn't give him away--he is still her dog! Amazing the love some people have for us dogs.

Us Rescue Dogs are a tough breed. We often come with a lot of issues but can overcome them with proper training--we really need to get trained--or maybe even un-trained from our issues. I used to cry all night until Dad got me a crate--which he didn't want to do--but it worked. I love it. It's like a cave. I like our trainer friend, Laura, who comes to our house often and works with us.

So if you're thinking of adopting a dog, consider resucing one of us--even with our issues, we are very loyal to our owners.

To adopt a dog go to this site